Well that didn’t f*cking go as planned

This meme has been resonating with me this entire week.

It’s funny… coz it’s true.

It sounds like I’m feeling sorry for myself, but I’m not. I have reached a stage where I say this with a quirky smile and a twinkle in my eye as I am realizing every day that it is time to STOP! and listen… (c’mon admit it you sang that in a Vanilla Ice voice
https://youtu.be/rog8ou-ZepE) and re-evaluate my life, and where I am going, and, what are my expectations for the future.

It’s hard to apply the quote that says “Do not compare your chapter One to someone else’s Chapter Twenty’. This has been another weekend spent at work, and entirely on my own every other minute. Man alive it gets a bit much after a while. But I am still keeping the negative thoughts at bay… it has to change at some stage and I am hard at work implementing change to the things that are in my control. Watch this space.

But back to the quote: it is hard to not look around you and be envious of the things you want, that other people has…

 

Update:  I started writing this blog on 29 April – nearly a month ago but never finished it.  So I thought I would continue as this emotion is still very strongly at the forefront of what I am thinking.
At work again this morning and weekends are so dead quiet it really does leave way too much time, to think.  Oh and I am the master over-thinker!  I have over-thunk myself right into a new mindset this morning of What the F am I doing??  Okay perhaps not a new mindset at all – just again.

wtf

I am really looking back at the last 38 years and as morbid as this sounds, I can’t help but think:  WTF was that???

Anyhoo every day I am just driven and convinced into the very depths of my soul, that a change is due.  Long overdue.

More music, more cooking, more crafts (I am definitely starting my mosaic table today!) more exercise.  I need less time to over think I think…

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Wine Fli

Just a white girl trying to get by in life. Trying my very best to make the best of what I have... trying to cope with traffic and striking taxi's and numerous asshole drivers, and trying very hard to do so without becoming an alcoholic... or day-drinking. I absolutely adore animals, cats and dogs and anything four legged. I also adore my son (should probably have put that before animals). I also love wine. I swear too much, I love too hard, I have high expectations of other people but most of all myself. I feel I should work harder, achieve more, reach more, be more patient and tolerant, and learn to be more accepting of other people. I fail most days. At all of the above. But tomorrow morning I get up at 4am, I go to gym and I still try and fit into the picture I have created in my mind, of the person I think I should have been.

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